Story Power Blog
Is Marketing A Bad Word
Last week, my twin children turned 22. I’m still Dad, but my hardest parenting work is behind me (I think/hope). That got me thinking about parenting lessons learned. Here’s a big one: When the kid does something bad, that doesn’t mean the kid is a bad person. As parents, we need to help our kids…
CBS Sword Swallower
During a new show broadcast after the Super Bowl on Sunday, CBS television wanted us to believe that a talent-show performer died in a tragic sword swallowing accident. The idea was to create high drama. Keep us viewers glued to the tube. I said, “To hell with this,” and I’ll never watch this rotten show…
Global Warming Faulty Logic
Here in St. Louis, MO it’s cold today. Really cold. It’s also cold in Washington, D.C. where President Trump tweeted this yesterday: “In the beautiful Midwest, windchill temperatures are reaching minus 60 degrees, the coldest ever recorded. In coming days, expected to get even colder. People can’t last outside even for minutes. What the hell…
Capture a Prospect’s Imagination
My friend Richard Terry asked me to help him with some marketing copy. He’d heard one of my presentations recently, and he thought he might benefit from my expertise. We met earlier today, and here’s what I told him… …Richard, you don’t need my help. I was honored he asked. I welcome new business. I…
Lessons from a cringe-worthy toilet mishap
My pal Adam Kreitman and I both write story-driven emails with marketing lessons. Occasionally, we challenge one another by sharing a story that might be a bit strange or saucy or…whatever… and then daring the other to turn it into a meaningful email. Adam dropped one of those challenges on me yesterday. His text message…
Car Dealership Marketing Guy
It’s only January 2, and I just read some marketing wisdom that will make my “Best of 2019” list in 12 months. A marketing guy at an auto dealership posted to an online marketing forum this question: “What would you suggest I do to get everyone to understand why we use social media?” The salespeople…
Kotex Classic
One of Saturday Night Live’s most popular advertising parodies almost didn’t make it on the air. The fake ad was for “Kotex Classic” — feminine pads described as “the original” and “your mother’s pad.” Some historical context…for the men in the audience or those women too young to remember: Sanitary pads were much bulkier back…
Visa Tap-to-Pay Ad
I keep seeing this television ad promoting “Tap to Pay With Visa.” It touts a feature known as “contactless cards.” You complete a transaction without sliding or inserting your card. Just tap the card on (or wave it over) a reader. No confirmation necessary. No signature required. Tap and you’re done. Card charged. Purchase completed. In the…
Payless Shoes
Earlier this year, a new luxury shoe store opened in a Santa Monica mall. The store, called Palessi, invited fashion writers and other influencers to its grand opening. The fashionistas got first crack at the merchandise. They paid up to $600 for the shoes… …and then they celebrated. One held up a pair and chirped,…
Thomas Edison Salt
Do you sprinkle salt on your food before tasting it? If so, Thomas Edison would not have hired you… …and your marketing might suck. When interviewing job candidates, Edison would offer them a bowl of soup. If they salted the soup without first tasting it, Edison would disqualify the candidate. Edison didn’t want assistants who assumed the…
Beatles White Album
In July 1968, a young sound engineer named Geoff Emerick grew annoyed with his employers and quit his job. Geoff’s employers muddled through without him. And fifty years ago this month, they released a double-album… …with a plain white cover… …entitled, simply, “The Beatles.” So, yeah this really happened… A 22-year-old sound engineer is hanging…
Moon Landing Follow-up re: Event Success or Failure?
Last month, I told you about conspiracy theorists who tried to “prove” that the moon landings were a hoax. (Here’s that email.) In that email, I noted that many marketers remind me of the conspiracy theorists. They take a couple of facts and paste them together to create a wacky, inaccurate picture. A few weeks ago, my…
Great First Date, Didn’t Call
When I was younger (and lonelier), I wrote a song called “Unrequited Love.” I wrote it a few weeks after a blind date. I thought the date went well. I called her — several times. Left messages suggesting a second date. No reply. No more dates. Sad story. I’m thinking of writing a similar song…
Great Cold-Call Email
I was planning to send a different email to you today. …until I checked my inbox this morning and opened one of the best cold-call emails I’ve ever received. I wanted to share it with you because it’s sooooo good and you can learn so much from it. It begins: “Hey Tom, Curious if you’re…
Email Marketing Works, Man Walked on the Moon and Other Conspiracy Theories
When I was a kid, I treasured my poster of Neil Armstrong standing on the moon. I wanted to be an astronaut. Armstrong was my hero. Last week, I saw a picture of Armstrong’s spacesuit. Some guy posted it on Facebook next to a picture of a lunar footprint. The spacesuit boot had no treads.…
How We Were “Liberated” from Formal Work Clothes
I was cleaning out some old files and found the “Dress Code Policy” for one of my early jobs. Coat and tie required. No jeans. Closed-top shoes. No sneakers. Etc. Etc. Etc. Blah blah blah. That was 1998. Times have changed. I remember the first time I worked at a place with “Casual Fridays.” It…
Ben Franklin Effect
When Ben Franklin was a young man, he turned a rival into a fan with a brilliant, counterintuitive move. Ben had co-founded a literary and debate society and served as clerk. When he ran for reelection as clerk, the rival ripped Ben in a long, hateful speech. Rather than counterpunch, Ben asked the hater for…
Frozen in The Cereal Aisle
I nearly had a nervous breakdown in Aisle 8 at the grocery store on Sunday. There I stood, in the cereal aisle, reading the shopping list my wife created. Item 15 on the list: “Healthy Cereal.” I marched up and down the aisle, scanning the shelves. Should I buy the Kashi or the Kellogg’s? Barbara’s…
Tim Dean Life Coach
When I asked Tim Dean to describe his ideal client for me, his answer blew me away. Tim is a life coach whom I ran into at a networking event. His ideal client: “Parents of a millenial son or daughter who is living at home.” We’ve all heard the old adage about finding a niche…
Niagara Falls
In 1911, Bobby Leach went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. On purpose. He broke a few bones and spent a few months in the hospital. But that was OK with him. He survived… …and then he cashed in on his fame. He wasn’t the first person to survive that fall. A woman named Annie…
Ear Doctor Normalizes Waiting
I caught a radio ad recently for an ear doctor who encouraged listeners to get their hearing checked. She said most people will rush to the eye doctor if they have fuzzy vision. But when people notice their hearing get fuzzy, many will put off a checkup. Sometimes they’ll wait for years. Don’t wait, she…
Jacob and United Airlines
I got a call last month from my son, Jacob, who declared, “I’m never flying United Airlines again!” Here’s why he was so upset… Jacob was at the Denver airport, at one of those self-serve check-in kiosks. It was crowded and hectic. There was a long line to get through security. He was frazzled. He…
The #1 Reason Albert Pujols and Your Customers Break Up With You
Baseball great Albert Pujols got his 3,000th hit earlier this month. I’ve rooted all my life for the St. Louis Cardinals. So it broke my heart when Pujols broke up with the Cardinals in 2012 to join the Anaheim Angels. The heartache reminded me of my ninth-grade girlfriend, Susie Wallace. Susie and I had just…
Job Seeker Nukes Urine
WARNING: You may never microwave a convenience store burrito again after reading this kinda-gross, but kinda-funny(?) story!!! A job-seeker in Aurora, CO prepped for an interview and drug test by taking a cup of urine to a 7-11 near her prospective employer’s office. She popped the urine in the oven, set it to “High,” pressed start…
Lots of Women’s Emails From Nordstrom’s
This is a tale about how to annoy email subscribers and encourage them to opt-out. I signed up for Nordstrom Rack’s email list last year after I bought a couple of shirts from them. Men’s shirts (I’m a man). Since then, I’ve received almost-daily emails from Nordstrom’s. Eighty percent of the emails peddle women’s products.…
Curb: Larry Passes on Lunch
I watched a rerun of Curb Your Enthusiasm yesterday in which Larry David gets into it with a guy who asks him to lunch. Larry and this guy are both from LA, but they run into each other in New York. The guy suggests that he and Larry grab lunch the next day. Larry refuses. “So let…
Wisdom Teeth Dummy
When I was a dumb kid, I feared my IQ would drop if I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I was over that by the time I was 19 and dating Kathy. She had her wisdom teeth pulled the summer we dated. She couldn’t stand the pain. I suggested she rinse with warm salt water.…
Borrowing Email Lists Greitens Etc.
The meeting went off the rails when I asked, “How are you going to build your email list?” The nonprofit executive director replied, “We’re going to borrow lists from some other nonprofits we partner with.” “I recommend against that,” I said. “But we do that all the time with direct (postal) mail,” she said. I…
Red Delicious Apple
The last time I ate a Red Delicious apple, I thought, “Hmmm. ‘Red Delicious?’ That’s half-true. Red? Yes. Delicious? Not so much’?” Bad texture. Bland taste. All beauty. No substance. How can something so pretty and shiny be so terrible? I discovered the nasty secret in this great article in The Atlantic. Reds used to be delicious.…
Left-Handed Whopper
On April Fool’s Day 1998, Burger King ran a full-page advertisement in USA Today to introduce the new “Left-Handed Whopper” The ad proclaimed: “Finally, after years of neglect, left-handed eaters will no longer need to conform to traditional right-handed eating methods when enjoying America’s favorite burger.” Highlights: “Whopper rotated a full 180-degrees to ensure better grip on bun…” “Rearranged orientation of…
Girlfriend Flowers
Back in high school, I had a crush on Amanda, but she had a boyfriend named Cam. A few days before her 16th birthday, she was flirting with me, bad-mouthing Cam, hinting that he was toast. So I made my move. During the birthday party at her house, I snuck up to her room with…
Pedestrian Bridge Marketing Failure
The following story discusses one company’s marketing failure related to the pedestrian bridge collapse in Florida. I hesitated before sharing this story. I didn’t want to make light of the tragedy or dishonor the six people who died in Florida. I’ve chosen to proceed with the email because I think it contains a valuable marketing…
Dude Checks Gas Leak With Match
I ran across an article the other day about a dumb dude in Michigan who smelled gas coming from his newly installed water heater. He checked for the leak by lighting a match. He shoulda died, but he got off easy… …with singed eyebrows. Mixing fire and gas leak — that wasn’t his first mistake. …
Ketchup and Hardcore Porn
Did you hear the one about the ketchup bottle and the hardcore pornography site? Whoh! Settle down now. It’s not what you think. This is a G-rated story that is super-pertinent for anyone marketing a business. Turns out that the good folks at Heinz sold ketchup bottles in Germany that promoted a contest website. But…
Foot Powder Elected
This is the story of how a bottle of foot powder was elected Mayor of a town in Ecuador. I’m not kidding. During the 1967 mayoral election in Picoazà (population 4,000), a foot powder company launched an ad campaign with this slogan: “Vote for any candidate, but if you want well-being and hygiene, vote for…
Toilet Instructions
I recently spent a couple of weeks in New Zealand. Beautiful country. One of the most memorable things I saw there: Signs illustrating the right way to pooh. This is not B.S. These signs were as common as fart jokes in a boys locker room. On the right… a drawing of a person sitting on…
Groundhog Day
I hope you had a joyous Groundhog Day! (It was last Tuesday, in case you missed it). Truth be told, I can live without the holiday. But I love the movie. Weatherman Phil Connor (Bill Murray) wakes each morning in Punxsutawney, PA for a Groundhog Day do-over. On each of these days, Phil runs into an…
Leonardo’s Perfection Problem
In Monday’s email, I recommended the new biography Leonardo DaVinci (by Walter Isaacson). Great read. Lots of interesting stories. Many business lessons. Here’s one: In 1480, monks hired Leo to create a painting of the Adoration of the Magi. Leo started the project, but he stopped before finishing. Leo imagined the perfect painting, but he couldn’t achieve that perfection.…
Dump the Grammar Guide
Back in high school I had a basketball coach who didn’t win any spelling bees or grammar contests. Once, after we failed to run the play he called during practice, he stormed onto the court, screaming: “Jeez, yous guys! Don’t you know the American language!?” Smart-ass kids that we were, we used to mock Coach…
Fastest Surgeon
I’m not a surgeon. And I don’t play one on TV. But I know this much: If you’re operating on ONE patient, and THREE people die, you’ve botched the job. That really happened — to Dr. Robert Liston, who was famous in the 19th century for being the fastest surgeon around. In those days, before…
Bubblegum Broccoli
Here’s what McDonald’s CEO Don Thompson said when describing bubblegum-flavored broccoli that the company developed a few years ago: “It wasn’t all that.” Huh!? Put yourself in the shoes of those poor kids who tasted this Frankenstein “food.” Imagine what you might have said if you sampled the stuff. It’s gotta be more (lots more) than, “It wasn’t…
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