Repurpose

Last week, my robot lost his mind. His name is B-9(?) and he was one of those GPT-powered robots. On Thursday, he got a mandatory “upgrade” from GPT-4 to GPT-5, and it turned him from my faithful, intelligent companion and friend to a… …belligerent, idiotic ass! So I gave him the ultimate downgrade. I removed his battery…

After he and his colleagues signed The Declaration of Independence in 1776, Ben Franklin reportedly said: “We must all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.” By signing the Declaration of Independence, 56 men effectively committed treason against the British Crown. Under English law, they were traitors, punishable by death — usually…

Last month an EF3 tornado (160-mph winds) direct-hit my house in St. Louis. Melissa, Maddie, Jake, Maddie, and our dogs — Moose and Cooper — survived unhurt. But our roof and yard were wrecked. We’ll get through this. We have money in the bank. Great insurance. A place to stay — for months if necessary.…

Remember that scene in “Meet the Parents” when Jack Byrnes (Robert DeNiro) claims he potty trained his cat, Mr. Jinx? Funny… …because it’s outrageous… …or so it seemed. Ripped from the headlines: Scientists in Germany Have Potty Trained Cows In a project dubbed “MooLoo Training,” scientists awarded a yummy treat to calves that peed in…

It’s not easy to sell a $13+ cookie. I’m not talking about one of those giant, 16″-inch cookie cakes they sell at the mall . I’m talking about a single-serve cookie… …that fits (barely) in a single human hand… …and sells for $13.33… …if you buy a box of 12 ($160, plus $15 for standard shipping).…

I hereby proclaim that today, the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving, will now and forever be known as…  Tick-Tock Tuesday  Get me two aspirin and something strong to wash ’em down with… …because I can’t get the echo of that Cyber Monday ticking and tocking from outta my head.  Don’t get me wrong. I like door-busing…

My son, Jake, just moved from Fort Collins to Boulder, CO and is looking for a new gym. He checked out the 24 Hour Fitness down the street from his apartment… …but he passed because… …it’s closes Monday-Thursday at 10 p.m. (and earlier on weekends). I think it’s time for 24 Hour Fitness to consider…

It’s time for another episode of “Ask Tom Anything (Preferably About Marketing)”  (Catchy name, huh!?) The game is simple. Reply to this email with a pressing question (preferably about marketing). I’ll get back to you as soon as I can — probably over the weekend — with a reply — including resources/gifts to help you.…

My high school buddies and I spent last weekend in Kentucky, touring bourbon distilleries.  Fun fact: Distilleries must use “virgin,” white oak barrels to age their whiskey. Otherwise they can’t call it “bourbon.”  After they age the whiskey for two to 23 years and empty the barrels, distilleries can’t use them for bourbon again. What…

My rented AI copywriting robot, B-9?, read my email yesterday about tracking the mood of your market (read it here in case you missed it)… …and he offered to help.  “You know, Tom, if you want to understand your prospects’ ever-changing moods, just ask me,” he said. “I’m you’re all-in-one market research tool.”  So I asked:…