A Great Subject Line and Why it Didn’t Work…

trust

When a top-notch copywriter forwards to me an example of great marketing, I pay attention.

My buddy Adam is one of the best copywriters I know. And yesterday, he forwarded to me a subject line that caught his eye.

The subject line: “MIT Device Cuts Power Bills By 65%”

Adam said, “That’s about as good a headline/subject line as I’ve seen in a while.”

I agree.

Adam outlined what makes it so good: “Proof, Curiosity, Specificity, Huge Benefit, Implied story, Concise.

I’ll explain Adam’s list in reverse order.

Concise: No wasted words. To the point. Excellent!

Implied story: Before, you’re frustrated by sky-high bills. After, you’re celebrating with a big, fat wallet. Powerful stories evoke before-to-after journeys. This subject line evokes a journey people want to take.

Huge benefit: 65%. That’s not teeny.

Specificity: The subject line didn’t say, “Cuts power bills” (period). It said “…by 65%.” The specificity captures our attention and makes it more believable.

Curiosity: It leaves you hanging. What is this device? Readers want to know. They’re curious.

Proof: “MIT” lends authority. This device came from a premier tech college. “MIT,” alone may not prove the device works. But it’s a piece of evidence to make the claim more believable. Marketers call such evidence “proof.” The more proof, the better.

So here’s the ironic twist about this great subject line:

Adam didn’t open the email. And if he had opened the email, he wouldn’t have clicked any links.

You see, Adam spotted that subject line in his spam folder. The email was from some dude Adam never heard of.

And that, dear reader, leads us to the big lesson:

If you want people to open, click and act on your emails, it’s best if they know, like, and trust you first.

As Adam told me, “It doesn’t matter how good the headline is if you don’t trust the person it’s coming from.”

One way to build trust: Weave powerful storytelling into your social media, blog posts, emails, and other marketing content.

When you tell powerful stories, your prospect’s brains release a chemical that acts like a love potion so they like and trust you more.

When you write story-powered social media posts, prospects are more likely to engage. When you write story-powered emails, prospects are more likely to open and click. When you write story-powered blog posts, prospects are more likely to read to the bottom. Stories captivate prospects and inspire them to act…

…so you book more meetings…

…and you close more sales.

Don't go away yet..

p.s. Coaches, authors, and consultants hire me to power-up their creative content and storytelling to captivate prospects, stand-out and book more business.

Whenever you're ready, here are several ways I can help you become a storytelling stand-out so you'll land more clients without pitching and prodding:

1) Get the Story Power Profit Pack -- 52 Strategies, Tips, and Tactics  to Transform Your Content from Ignored to Adored.

2) Watch the free, 7-minute Micro-Training: “The 3 Most Important Storytelling Keys to Captivate Prospects and Inspire Them to Act -- Without Pitching and Prodding.”

3) Become a Story Power VIP: Master how to discover, assemble, and deliver business-building stories. Twice-monthly live masterclasses. Members-only content. One-on-one feedback and consulting sessions. And more… If you'd like to learn more about our VIP program, just reply to this email and put "Story Power VIP" in the subject line. I’ll contact you with more details.

4) Work with me one-on-one: If you’re interested in working directly with me -- to discover, assemble, and deliver powerful, business-building stories -- simply reply to this email and change the subject line to "Private Client." Tell me a little about yourself, your business, and what you'd like to accomplish, and I'll reply to discuss options.

5) Invite me to speak at an event: I can tailor a presentation that meets the specific needs of your organization. Informative. Entertaining. Virtual or live. Potential for continuing education credits when applicable for your group. If interested, reply to this email and change the subject line to “Speaking Engagement.” I’ll circle back to discuss the possibilities.

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Tom Ruwitch

Tom Ruwitch is the founder and CEO of Story Power Marketing. For more than 30 years, he has helped businesses grow by delivering powerful stories using a variety of different media.