This Guy’s Pitch Could Have Worked, if Only…

linkedin message

I got this LinkedIn direct message yesterday from a guy named Max after I accepted his connection request:

“Θα ήθελα να σας γνωρίσω με το (τα προϊόντα μας), μια υπερσυγκλίνουσα πλατφόρμα που συνδυάζει το δίκτυο, την αποθήκευση, τον υπολογισμό και το σχετικό λογισμικό σε ένα συμπαγές, πραγματικά Ανθεκτικό σε σφάλματα αποτύπωμα δύο κόμβων με σχέδιο έτοιμο για το μέλλον, προσαρμοσμένο στη δική σας περίπτωση. Απαντήστε σε αυτό το μήνυμα και θα κλείσω ένα δωρεάν εξατομικευμένο demo από μηχανικό για την ώρα και την ημερομηνία που σας βολεύει περισσότερο.”

🫤

Just kidding. The message arrived in English. But, still…

…it was all Greek to me.

Behold the actual message…

“I would like to get you acquainted with (our product), a turnkey hyperconverged platform that combines network, storage, compute, and associated software in a compact, truly fault-tolerant two-node footprint with a future-ready design tailored to your individual case. Respond to this message and I will book a free personalized engineer-led demo for the time and date most convenient to you.”

🤷🏻

English. Greek. Klingon. Doesn’t matter.

The message fell flat.

But here’s the crazy thing…

That message — delivered exactly as is — could have been very persuasive, except…

One bit is missing — the most critical bit.

If Max put this critical bit before all that stuff about a hyperconverged platform, with a two-node footprint…

…he would persuade more prospects to schedule a demo…

…and he would make more sales.

Max is not alone. Marketers skip straight to the Greek without the critical, prospect-persuading bit.

That’s why I’m hosting two events on Thursday where…

…I’ll reveal strategies and tactics — all the critical bits — you need…

…to be more persuasive and inspire prospects to act.

On Thursday, Ted Prodromou and I will host a group discussion about Never Split the Difference. We’ll discuss, among other things, how get what you want in negotiations — with prospects, clients, family members, and anyone else you wish to persuade.

Immediately after, Dean Isaacs and I will host a 5in25 training (5 tips in 25 minutes, followed by Q&A): “5 Ways to Persuade Prospects to Act — Without Being a Pitchy, Proddy Pest.”

In both trainings, we’ll reveal the critical bit Max left out of his message.

Details below…

📚 Mastermind Book Club re: Never Split the Difference
(Thursday, June 22, 2:30 PM ET)
We negotiate every day — with family members, prospects, and clients. This book reveals how to do it like an FBI hostage negotiator — as if lives depended on it. You don’t have to read the book to join the discussion with the Mastermind Book Club. Join the Club for free at the link above. After you join, we’ll send details re: the event.

🧲 5 Ways to Persuade Prospects to Act
(Thursday, June 22, 3:30 PM ET) 
A 5in25 Training — 5 tips in 25 minutes, plus Q&A. Dean Isaacs and I will reveal how to be more persuasive — without being a pitchy, proddy, pest. Click the link above for details and registration.

Don't go away yet..

p.s. Coaches, authors, and consultants hire me to power-up their creative content and storytelling to captivate prospects, stand-out and book more business.

Whenever you're ready, here are several ways I can help you become a storytelling stand-out so you'll land more clients without pitching and prodding:

1) Get the Story Power Profit Pack -- 52 Strategies, Tips, and Tactics  to Transform Your Content from Ignored to Adored.

2) Watch the free, 7-minute Micro-Training: “The 3 Most Important Storytelling Keys to Captivate Prospects and Inspire Them to Act -- Without Pitching and Prodding.”

3) Become a Story Power VIP: Master how to discover, assemble, and deliver business-building stories. Twice-monthly live masterclasses. Members-only content. One-on-one feedback and consulting sessions. And more… If you'd like to learn more about our VIP program, just reply to this email and put "Story Power VIP" in the subject line. I’ll contact you with more details.

4) Work with me one-on-one: If you’re interested in working directly with me -- to discover, assemble, and deliver powerful, business-building stories -- simply reply to this email and change the subject line to "Private Client." Tell me a little about yourself, your business, and what you'd like to accomplish, and I'll reply to discuss options.

5) Invite me to speak at an event: I can tailor a presentation that meets the specific needs of your organization. Informative. Entertaining. Virtual or live. Potential for continuing education credits when applicable for your group. If interested, reply to this email and change the subject line to “Speaking Engagement.” I’ll circle back to discuss the possibilities.

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Tom Ruwitch

Tom Ruwitch is the founder and CEO of Story Power Marketing. For more than 30 years, he has helped businesses grow by delivering powerful stories using a variety of different media.