I Didn’t Punch Chad in The Face, But his Email Tempted Me

I woke this morning to an email from a guy named Chad who claimed his appointment-setting firm could  add “an extra 20K to 40K” to my monthly recurring revenue.

Wow! What a promise. 

The email contained a video. And in the video, Chad said this: 

“We have a system that allows us to harvest anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000 lead data per month, such as names, email addresses, job titles, across various social media platforms anywhere on the planet. After that, our conversion optimized email automation system will then drive the traffic on to a high converting landing page.” 

Chad’s system harvested my data from LinkedIn. How do I know? Because here’s my LinkedIn profile:

Note my title: “Founder & CSO (Chief Story Officer”)

And here’s the opening of Chad’s email.

Holy-moly! Chad’s company is “great at helping Founder & CSO (Chief Story Officer)‘s achieve…”

I’m a “Founder & CSO (Chief Story Officer).” And Chad’s system will work great with Story Power Marketing. This must be my lucky day. Yippee!

(Please pause while I take a deep break and regain my professional composure…)

Ummm…Sorry for that little outburst of bitter sarcasm. I couldn’t help myself. 

I’m just so tired of robotic marketers who firebomb my inbox with “I’ve-got-just-the-ticket-for-you” claims. 

I call those marketers “Neds,” as in Ned Ryerson. 

He’s the obnoxious insurance salesman in the movie “Groundhog Day” who pitches Phil (Bill Murray) by saying, “Have you ever heard of single-premium life? Because I think that really could be the ticket for you.” 

After hearing that pitch one too many times, Phil punches Ned in the face. (I tell that story and unpack some marketing lessons in this post).

Don’t worry, Chad. I’m not the punch-you-in-the-face kinda guy. But I did punch the delete button after getting your email.

And you, dear reader, can expect the same if you send robotic, data-merged, “I’ve-got-just-the-ticket-for-you” emails to your prospects.

They’ll punch the delete button faster than you can say, “Our system works great with…” 

I know. The robot-lovers will object. Robotic marketing works for some. That’s why the robots keep fireboming our inboxes. 

But so many robotic emails scream, “I don’t know you!” So many come across as insincere. 

“We’re great at helping Founder & CSO (Chief Story Officer)‘s achieve…?” 

Really, Chad? Name one you’ve helped. 

Chad’s playing the quantity-over-quality game. Harvest 8,000 to 10,000 lead data per month and let ‘er rip.

I’m more about the quality-over-quantity game. Connect with people who want to hear from me. Inform AND entertain them so they know, like, and trust me. And build mutually beneficial relationships with those whom I truly can help. 

If that sounds like the kind of marketing you want to do, join me tomorrow (Thursday, 5/18) for a 5in25 Workshop (5 tips in 25 minutes) — 5 Simple Steps to Power Up Your LinkedIn Presence. 

In less time than it takes to delete all the junk mail from your spam folder, I’ll share five ways to give yourself a LinkedIn makeover so you stand out and connect with quality prospects who will know, like, and trust you. So you can build quality connections with prospects who choose to do business with you.

Five tips in 25 minutes, followed by Q&A. The workshop tomorrow begins promptly at 4 p.m. EDT, 3 p.m. CDT (and it won’t be recorded). Click the button below to register…