CBS Sword Swallower

During a new show broadcast after the Super Bowl on Sunday, CBS television wanted us to believe that a talent-show performer died in a tragic sword swallowing accident.

The idea was to create high drama. Keep us viewers glued to the tube.

I said, “To hell with this,” and I’ll never watch this rotten show again.

It’s called “The World’s Best.” It’s one of those reality talent shows with celebrity judges. CBS has invested big bucks in this thing, and the network premiered the show immediately following the big football game.

One of the contestants was a sword swallower. His trick: Connect a sword to the center of a steel harness. Strap two kegs of beer to the ends of the harness (very heavy). Lift the harness (with the beer keg barbells) over his head. Swallow the sword until the harness bar reaches his mouth. Tilt head back. Hold harness bar on face.

If the keg-laden harness should slip from his face, the kegs will crash to the ground, and the sword will be ripped from its place in his gullet and slice his insides to bits.

It seemed like a decent trick until CBS pulled its rotten trick.

With suspenseful music blaring and the heavy harness teetering on the sword swallower’s face, the scene abruptly shifted. For a split second, it looked like the bar had fallen. We hear the sound of beer kegs crashing against the ground. We hear the man groan. It happens in a flash. And then the screen goes black — as if the guy in the control room screamed, “Go to commercial!!!!!!”

What happened!?! Oh no! It couldn’t be! The horror!

I turned to my wife and said, “This is total bullsh^#&%*t. CBS just pretended that a sword swallower died on its show.”

After three minutes of commercials, the show returned. Now we see the sword swallower back where he was before the “tragedy,” balancing the harness on his face. Dramatic music. All is good. He slowly lifts the harness, pulling the sword from his throat. When the sword is clear, he drops the harness. The kegs crash to the ground (I’ve heard that sound before. Deja vu!). And the sword swallower moans…

…in exhaustion and relief.

What a crock of caca!

It wasn’t the greatest trick, but it had my attention.

Why did CBS resort to dirty tricks to build suspense and keep my attention?

Same question applies to LOTS of marketers.

Why do so many businesses think they need to trick us to get our attention!?

I won’t waste this space with a catalog of stupid marketers tricks.

I’ll simply say this: Compelling content will capture people’s attention. And you can create compelling content without resorting to dirty tricks.