How a Slobbering Rat-dog Inspired me to Fight Crime

I witnessed a crime yesterday…

…and I did nothing to stop it.

Melissa, Maddie, and I were enjoying a quiet dinner on the patio at Saigon Cafe in St. Louis when we were interrupted by a high-pitched “Yip, yip, yip.” 

Startled, I dropped my chopsticks in my bowl of Bun Tom Heo Nuong Cha Gio, turned toward the “yips,” and locked eyes with a giant rat chihuahua.

I love dogs – especially my boy Moose.

But chihuahuas? Not so much. And this yippee rat-dog seemed to know it. 

Tucked under the arm of his Chihuahua-loving keeper, the rat-dog shot me a look as if to say, “Wha’ chu lookin’ at?” 

I felt a chill run down my spine.

Chihuahua-lover and her three pals plopped down at the table next to ours. And then she plopped the rat/dog down…

…not on the ground where dogs belong…

…but on the tabletop. 

She opened a single-serve bag of food and cheered on her rat/dog as he lapped up the kibble and slobbered on the table. 

The slobber glistened in the late-evening sun. 

I lifted the bowl from MY table and looked underneath…

…for paw prints…

…or worse. 

Then I turned my attention back to the rat/dog. 

Chihuahua-lover lifted him from the table, held him to her chest, and patted him three times on the back – as if she was burping a baby. 

Then she plopped the rat/dog…

…not on the ground…

… but on the chair next to hers. 

There he sat for the rest of the meal – yipping and burping(?) and giving me the stink eye. 

I wanted to confront Chihuahua-lover and her slobbering rat/dog. 

But I couldn’t summon the courage. 

So, instead, I whispered to Melissa and Maddie, “Do you think it’s OK for a dog to eat and slobber on a restaurant table or sit in a restaurant chair?” 

They whispered back in unison, “No.” 

Not OK! 

“Is that even legal?” I asked. 

I grabbed my phone and looked up the St. Louis City ordinance re: dogs “in outdoor dining areas.” 

Restaurants may allow dogs in outdoor areas, IF…

“…the customer does not allow the dog on a seat, table, countertop, or similar surface.” (1994 C., § 10.04.345; Ord. No. 67611, § 1, 2007.)

Ah ha! Busted!

I sprang from my chair, pointed toward Chihuahua-lover and her rat/dog, and bellowed, “You are breaking the law, madam.” 

Well…

…actually…

…I imagined doing that…

…but I couldn’t summon the courage. 

So here I sit, ashamed that I did nothing to stop this heinous crime.

Now, I vow to never to stand idly by when a crime is committed. 

That’s why I’m writing today…

…to let you know…

…it would be a CRIME if you missed
my upcoming content-planning workshop.

It’s an invitation-only event. Date/time TBD (see below). 

When you attend, you will walk away with content-ideas designed specifically for your business. 

And you’ll have a simple method so you can generate content ideas over and over and over — without writer’s block. 

I’m building a list of interested people to invite.

Later today, I’ll send some date/time options and schedule the workshop for the time that works best for those on the list. 

If you’re interested in being on the list, reply to this email and write “interested in the content-planning workshop” in the email. 

5 spots remaining.

This will be a small, get-things-done workshop. I have room for 5 more people on the guest list. Enrollment closes at 2 p.m. CDT today. So reply now if you want to attend.