A Subject Line that Stinks More Than Blue Cheese 😷


The email from Rocky screamed at me from my spam folder…

…with a subject line so stinky I had to share it with you:

“Re: #Give me Appointment Please…!!”

I opened the email (only because I thought I’d write an email about it)…

…and found a pitch for credit card processing services.

My reaction: No way, José! (#FatChance) 😏

SO many things wrong with this subject line. I’ll focus on one:

It smacks of desperation.

Please is a nice word. A useful word (often).

But in this case — preceded by “Give me” and followed by (not one, but two) exclamation points…

…”please” is not pleasing. “Please” is PLEADING, and…

…Pleading kills the sale.

A few months ago, Dean Isaacs and I ran a 5in25 training called “5 Tips to Write Irresistible Subject Lines and Headlines So Prospects Tune In and Read On.”

Five tips in 25 minutes that Dean and I presented live.

I’ve never shared the replay…

…until now.

You can have it. All you have to do is ask (nicely 😉).

Reply to this email with “#SubjectLineTips-Please” and I’ll send you the link to the replay video.

Don't go away yet..

p.s. Coaches, authors, and consultants hire me to power-up their creative content and storytelling to captivate prospects, stand-out and book more business.

Whenever you're ready, here are several ways I can help you become a storytelling stand-out so you'll land more clients without pitching and prodding:

1) Get the Story Power Profit Pack -- 52 Strategies, Tips, and Tactics  to Transform Your Content from Ignored to Adored.

2) Watch the free, 7-minute Micro-Training: “The 3 Most Important Storytelling Keys to Captivate Prospects and Inspire Them to Act -- Without Pitching and Prodding.”

3) Become a Story Power VIP: Master how to discover, assemble, and deliver business-building stories. Twice-monthly live masterclasses. Members-only content. One-on-one feedback and consulting sessions. And more… If you'd like to learn more about our VIP program, just reply to this email and put "Story Power VIP" in the subject line. I’ll contact you with more details.

4) Work with me one-on-one: If you’re interested in working directly with me -- to discover, assemble, and deliver powerful, business-building stories -- simply reply to this email and change the subject line to "Private Client." Tell me a little about yourself, your business, and what you'd like to accomplish, and I'll reply to discuss options.

5) Invite me to speak at an event: I can tailor a presentation that meets the specific needs of your organization. Informative. Entertaining. Virtual or live. Potential for continuing education credits when applicable for your group. If interested, reply to this email and change the subject line to “Speaking Engagement.” I’ll circle back to discuss the possibilities.

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Tom Ruwitch

Tom Ruwitch is the founder and CEO of Story Power Marketing. For more than 30 years, he has helped businesses grow by delivering powerful stories using a variety of different media.