“A Lot of People Who Don’t Say ‘Ain’t’ Ain’t Eatin'”

Last night, Melissa and I heard novelist Virginia Hume talk about her new book Liberty Island (which I highly recommend).

She said something every business owner needs to hear.

The novel is set in 1910 America when contractions weren’t were not common.

If she wanted to be historically accurate, Virginia would have written dialog with no contractions.

But as she told us last night: “That would have driven readers crazy.”

(Try it. Remove all contractions from copy you’ve you have written and see how it impacts the reading experience.)

So Virginia chose to strike a balance between historical perfection and modern day readability.

Good choice!

What does that have to do with you and your business?

Some business writers equate “professionalism” with perfection — historical, grammatical, and so forth.

In so doing, they sacrifice personality, readability, and relatability.

A quick story about Dizzy Dean to make the point:

Dizzy, a Hall of Fame pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, was a backwoods kid who never had the schooling or the polish of the big-city reporters covering the team.

One of those reporters once griped that Dizzy was ruining the grammar of every student who listened to him. Dizzy fired back: “A lot of people who don’t say ain’t ain’t eatin’.”

Amen, Dizzy. Ain’t that the truth?

The point: You can ace your Grammar and Composition final…

…and still flop at business or sports or whatever you’re chasing in life.

My seventh grade English teacher, Clara Fieselman, is probably spinning in her grave right now.

But I’ll say it anyway:

It’s fine to start a sentence with “But.”

And you can kick one off with “and,” too.

Sentence fragments? Why not?

Contractions aren’t the enemy.

And if you’re strolling down the sidewalk, then suddenly start cussing and wiping some brown goo off your sneaker…

…I’m gonna ask, “What did you step in?” — not “In what did you step?”

Yeah, yeah. Ms. Fieselman (and your English teacher) warned us never to end a sentence with a preposition.

But…

“Correct” grammar and easy-to-read grammar ain’t always the same thing.

I’m not telling you to torch the rulebook just to play rebel. I’m telling you to write clearly.

Write like you talk — not like you’re sweating an English exam. Bend a few rules along the way? No big deal…

…as long as folks can follow you.