Urine Trouble (A Cautionary Tale)

It’s National 7-Eleven Day (July 11)…

…which means you can get a free Slurpee® at your neighborhood convenience store (thank heaven)  , but…

Do NOT get one of those microwaveable burritos…

…or, if you must, nuke it in the microwave at home or the office.

I stopped using 7-Eleven microwaves after hearing this story, ripped straight from the headlines…

A young, drug-doing woman was on her way to a job interview in Aurora, CO.

She knew a drug test would be on the agenda.

And she knew her pee wouldn’t pass.

So she packed a Cup-o-Pee — a pal’s drug-free urine.

She figured they’d ask her to step into the rest room and fill a cup. And she knew that pee had to be warm — as if it just streamed from her 98.6-degree bladder — when she handed it over.

(See where this is going?)

So she popped her Cup-o-Pee into the 7-Eleven microwave, set it to “High,” pressed start, and waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

…and waited…

…until…

“Poppppp!” 

You know the sound. The dreaded microwave explosion.

Drug-Test-Faker opened the door and recoiled in horror as a stinky Puddle-o-Pee spilled from the microwave onto the counter.

“Clean it up!” the clerk hollered.

Faker grabbed a one-ply napkin from the dispenser, pushed the puddle from the counter to the floor, and high-tailed it outta there.

Two small lessons:

1) When cooking pee, microwave on medium 

2) If you spill your pee, own it!

Drug-Test-Faker didn’t get far. Cops caught her and issued a citation.

And after hearing about the Pee-Pee Caper, the employer passed on the faker.

Now the BIG lesson…

I know many business people who recoil in horror from marketing and sales. They think it’s dirty business — yucky as a puddle-o-pee.

Sure, there are plenty of marketers and salespeople who are fakers, cheats, and liars. They give ethical marketers and salespeople a bad name.

Making matters worse, some of these cheaters prosper.

But that doesn’t mean you oughta cheat.

You can prosper in marketing and sales without the dirty, stinky tricks.

No misleading subject lines.

No fake “the-boss-asked-me-to-write” messages.

No fudging the substantive facts.

No yucky tactics.

Marketing and sales doesn’t have to be dirty business. You can prosper if you know what makes your prospects tick and how your products and services can truly serve them.

See the p.s. below for ways I can help.