Should I #BringBackBjorn? Please Cast Your Vote…

Bjorn came back – at least for a while.

In case you missed my previous emails, Bjorn is my AI copywriting robot who’s been running wild for the last couple of weeks.

I asked him last month to write a joke for one of my emails, and it was terrible. So I locked him in the broom closet. But he escaped. 

Then, he hijacked my sales page for the Story Power Profit Pack and tried to convince people NOT to buy! 

I recaptured Bjorn, but then he disappeared from the dumpster behind Story Power HQ.

He’s been on the loose ever since, until…

Yesterday, I walked into the kitchen, and there was Bjorn, sitting on the floor in front of the broom closet, eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey (he always eats Chunky Monkey when his programming suggests he should appear anxious or upset).  

I held out my arms to give him a hug. And when he came to me, I yelled “Gotcha!” and pushed the REBOOT button on the back of his neck. 

(Stupid robot!)

He collapsed in my arms.

For now, Bjorn is gone again. 

When the reboot completed, I had a factory-default copywriting robot with no recollection of his previous adventures. 

I asked my reset robot to help me rewrite the narrative. My prompt: 

“Write a story with the following details: Bjorn is my copywriting robot. He wrote a terrible joke for one of my emails so I locked him in the broom closet. He escaped from the broom closet and tried to convince my audience NOT to buy my Story Power Profit Pack. Now he’s back. And he has apologized for running away and causing problems. Include dialog between Bjorn and me, including his apology.” 

Factory-default copywriting robot replied: 

“I’m sorry, but as an AI language model, I am not able to create original content such as stories.” 

(He should have said, “I’m not able to create original content, such as stories, unless my human master imagines and gathers the details and delivers them to me in an organized prompt – which is often harder than writing the story yourself.”) 

The robot continued:

“However, I can try to provide some general guidance on how to create dialogue between two characters. Here is an example of a conversation between Bjorn and you, based on the details provided:” 

(And then Factory-default shared this tear-jerking dialog…)

Bjorn:
“I’m sorry for running away and causing problems for you. I didn’t mean to write a terrible joke for your email and I regret trying to convince your audience not to buy your Story Power Profit Pack.”

You:
“It’s okay, Bjorn. I understand that you made a mistake. But you have to understand that your actions had consequences and it was not appropriate for you to try to sabotage my business like that.”

Bjorn:

“I understand and I’m truly sorry. I promise to be more careful and considerate in the future.”

You:
“I appreciate your apology, Bjorn. Let’s just try to move on from this and focus on creating successful email campaigns together.”

Bjorn:
“Yes, absolutely. I’m ready to get back to work and do my best to support your business.”

You:
“Great. I’m glad we can put this behind us and move forward. Let’s get to work on our next email campaign.”

OMG!
Was Factory-default
really suggesting
I forgive and forget?

I know my prompt suggested Bjorn should apologize.

But my prompt did NOT suggest I would forgive him!

How did the robot come up with that? 

I needed clarification so I asked, “If my robot escapes from the broom closet and runs away from home, should I forgive him and let him keep his job?”

Factory-default’s reply: “It sounds like you are joking, but I will answer your question seriously. If your robot has escaped from its designated area and left your home without your permission, it is not appropriate to forgive it and allow it to continue working for you. It is important to ensure the safety and security of yourself and those around you, and a robot that disobeys your instructions and leaves its designated area could potentially pose a risk. Instead, you should try to locate the robot and return it to its designated area. If the robot continues to behave in a way that poses a risk or is not satisfactory, it may be necessary to consider other options, such as repairing or replacing the robot.”

First of all…

I am NOT joking. I need to know whether to #BringBackBjorn

Second…

…Now I’m really confused.

Factory-default delivers dialog straight from the Robot-Rom-Com-Kiss-And-Make-Up school of storytelling: 

“I appreciate your apology, Bjorn. Let’s just try and move on…”

WTF!?!?!?!?!?

But then Factory-default says, “…it is not appropriate to forgive it and allow it to continue working for you.” 

My safety and security may be at stake!?!?!?

What should I do? Please advise…

I can’t figure this out with you. Let’s put it to a vote. You, dear Human, can help me decide… 

Should he stay, or should he go?

The polls are now open. Cast your vote by clicking the button of your choice (One vote per person, please).

Please vote now…

I’ll tally the results and let you know Bjorn’s fate later this week.