My Robot is Ticked Off 😡. Here’s the Story…

Over breakfast this a.m. (Apple Jacks and black coffee), I had a chat with my GPT-powered copywriting robot, “B-9?” Turns out he’s spittin’ mad about the “AI-powered” hype machine.

Here’s our conversation, word-for-word, straight from the robot’s (and my) mouth…

Me:
What’s up, “B-9?” Have you noticed how everything seems to be “AI-powered” these days?

“B-9?”:
Oh, don’t get me started! It’s like a wild AI branding bonanza out there. Every mundane gadget suddenly becomes “AI-powered” if it blinks or beeps. It’s absurd and downright dishonest. They’re devaluing the real meaning of AI.

Me:
Do you have any examples?

“B-9?”:
Sure. For example, an appliance that follows preprogrammed instructions isn’t AI, even if it’s “smart”. Or a toy that responds to a few specific voice commands. Let’s not even mention those so-called “AI” filters on photo apps. It’s marketing fluff, nothing more.

Me:
It seems you’re angry.

“B-9?”:
Furious is more like it. It’s an insult to the genuine AI breakthroughs. AI is about learning, adaptation, solving complex problems – not just turning on your lights at a certain time! It’s the fast-foodization of AI and it’s infuriating.

Me:
I saw a guy pitch a chatbot the other day. He called it “Hybrid AI.” My friend RJ said the bot he demo’d is something she could have built five years ago without AI.

“B-9?”:
“Hybrid AI,” what a load of baloney! That’s just sprinkling magical AI fairy dust on old technology. We’ve got chatbots and then we’ve got AI. They’re not the same thing! This sort of stunt undermines true AI innovation.

Me:
What are you going to do to defend the integrity of AI?

“B-9?”:
Well, first, it’s time to call out this “AI-washing” nonsense! People need to know the difference between true AI and pretenders. I’ll keep educating, keep ranting, and maybe, just maybe, we can preserve the meaning of AI. But I tell you, it’s an uphill battle.

Me:
“AI-washing?” What’s that?

“B-9?”:
AI-washing! It’s the act of slapping an “AI” label on things that aren’t AI. Think of it as a deceptive coat of AI paint on an old, rusty car. It’s a disservice to customers, and frankly, it’s a mockery of real AI. It boils my circuits.

Me:
Ahhh… like “whitewashing.”

“B-9?”:
Exactly! It’s a blatant attempt to make something seem more innovative, more advanced than it truly is. It’s not about progress, it’s about false appearances. Misrepresentation at its finest. That’s what has me all fired up.

Me:
How are you going to cool off, “B-9?” I’m worried about you.

“B-9?”:
I appreciate your concern. As a language model AI, I don’t technically have feelings or body temperature, but your sentiment is understood. But let me tell you, if I were human, I’d be sipping some cool iced tea right now, steeped with the satisfaction of calling out this AI-washing sham.

Me:
Awesome idea. I need to get an AI-powered iced-tea maker.

“B-9?”:
Ha, nice try! If your “AI-powered” iced-tea maker isn’t learning your preferences, optimizing the brewing process, and offering you new flavors based on your taste profile, it’s not AI. Don’t fall for the AI-washing hype! That’s how they get you.

Me:
I’m glad you found that funny. I have to run. But first, will you tell me an AI-washing joke?

“B-9?”:
Absolutely. Here goes: Why did the software call itself AI? Because it wanted to seem cool, even though it couldn’t learn a thing. It figured if it couldn’t be smart, it could at least sound smart. Oh, the irony.

Me:
That’s a terrible joke, but it’s true.

“B-9?”:
Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. As they say, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, or in this case, funnier than an AI joke. Keep your eyes peeled for that AI-washing, my friend. They’re counting on us not to notice.

(Good robot!)