Will This Offer Be a Hit, Man?

Want to get 1 hour of complimentary consulting time — to pick my brain about any marketing thing you want? Read on. Even if you don’t want my free help, read on. This one’s a hoot…

Here’s a headline that caught my eye:

“Florida Woman Allegedly Used ‘Rent-A-Hitman’ Parody Site in Effort to Hire Killer…”

The story gets better.

Turns out 30+ people — who didn’t get the joke — have been arrested for trying to rent a hitman (for real), according to the site’s creator Bob Innes.

But wait, there’s more!

A member of the Air National Guard in Tennessee filled out a form on the site not to hire a hitman, but to apply for a job as a hitman.

The FBI nabbed him after he met with an undercover agent and accepted a $2,500 downpayment for his first hit job.

He told the agent he considered working in law enforcement, but he wanted to “do something more exciting,” according to the criminal complaint.

If convicted, he’ll spend up to 10 exciting years in a federal prison.

In case you’re seeking swift vengeance, looking for an exciting job, or just want a good laugh, here’s the site…

And here’s what’s supposed to happen next…

If you’ve been on my list for a while, you know the drill. I dig up an amusing, provocative news story, I share the tale, and I deliver a valuable business lesson drawn from the fable.

But today, I’m turning the tables.

I want YOU to finish this email and deliver the business lesson. (There may be a reward for you if you try.)

Here’s how this works:

1) Reply to this email and tell me about your business (50 words or fewer).

2) Imagine you wrote the top half of this email (everything through “…here’s the site.”

3) In your reply to me, finish the email by delivering a business lesson that’s valuable for YOUR prospects and clients. Make this about YOUR business, not mine. This part should be <100 words.

4) Submit your reply before 5 p.m. EDT, Friday, May 17.

Valuable Prizes

Three people who reply will win 1 hour of one-on-one consulting with me. We will meet on Zoom over one 1-hour meeting, or two 30-minute meetings to discuss anything you want regarding marketing, sales, or technology. I can help you solve a pressing problem, rewrite copy you’ve drafted or published, solve a tech riddle. Whatever you want.

Here’s How We’ll Select the Winners

The person who submits the best reply will be one of the three winners. The panel of judges will include my GPT-powered copywriting robot, “B-9?,” my wife Melissa, and me.

The other two winners will be selected randomly by my mutt Moose. We’ll put contestants’ names on tennis balls and ask Moose to choose a ball. Then we’ll rinse and repeat. Two balls chosen. Two winners.

I usually charge $350+/hour for this kind of one-on-one consulting. So bring on the replies.

You’ll have fun doing it and you may be a well-deserved or lucky winner.