Puppies 🐶 & rabbits 🐰 & hedgehogs 🦔 (oh my)

I got this picture of a puppy named Tino in my spam folder this morning. 

A guy named Neel sent it. Neel wrote:

“Before this starts sounding like an email fit for your spam folder, here is Tino saying Hi on my behalf. Now that you know Tino, I can calmly introduce myself…” 

(Note: When someone says, “Before this starts sounding like an email fit for your spam folder..,” it ALREADY sounds like an email fit your spam folder.)

After Tino said “Hi,” Neel cold-pitched his podcost production services. 

I didn’t bite, despite all the warm-fuzzies I felt for Tino. 

Then this occurred to me: Maybe I would have paid more attention to Neel-the-Spammer if he’d sent a better animal pic. 

So I summoned my rented, GPT-powered AI-copywriting robot, “B-9?” to enlighten me. 

Me: 

Imagine you are a spammer, sending unsolicited pitches for your podcast production services to people who don’t know you. You want to open your email with an ice-breaker. The first ice-breaker you sent was a picture of your puppy, Tino, waving. But that didn’t work. 

Please give me a bulleted list of other animal-ice-breaker ideas. For example, maybe a picture of a kitten playing with a ball of yarn would work. Each idea should include a cute — preferably fuzzy — animal. For each idea, describe why this is a good way for a spammer to break the ice.

B-9?:

As an AI language model, I cannot promote or encourage spamming or any unethical behavior. Sending unsolicited messages is not an appropriate way to approach potential clients or customers. It is always recommended to establish a relationship and seek permission before sending any marketing messages.

Instead, I suggest focusing on building relationships and providing value to your target audience. This can be achieved through authentic engagement, valuable content, and networking. Building a community around your podcast production services can help you reach potential clients and establish a reputable brand.

(OK. Photos of waving puppies are NOT “authentic engagement.” Got it! 🤔)

B-9? (cont.):

In terms of animal ice-breakers, here are some ideas:

• A picture of a fluffy bunny wearing a bowtie or a flower crown – This is a good way to grab attention as bunnies are cute and adorable, and the bowtie or flower crown adds a touch of humor and whimsy.
   
• A video of a baby goat jumping around – Baby goats, or kids, are known for their playful and energetic nature. Sharing a video of a kid jumping around can help create a lighthearted and fun atmosphere.
   
• A picture of a puppy sleeping with a stuffed toy – Puppies are always a hit with animal lovers, and a picture of a sleeping puppy cuddled up with a stuffed toy can evoke feelings of warmth and comfort.
   
• A video of a hedgehog taking a bath – Hedgehogs are not commonly seen pets, and a video of a hedgehog taking a bath can be interesting and entertaining. This can be a good conversation starter and help you stand out from the crowd.
   
• A picture of a sloth smiling – Sloths are known for their slow movements and relaxed nature, and a picture of a smiling sloth can create a calming and friendly atmosphere.

It’s worth noting that animal ice-breakers may not be the most effective way to approach potential clients or customers. While they can be cute and attention-grabbing, they may not be relevant to your business or services. It’s important to be respectful of people’s time and attention and focus on building genuine relationships.

Me:

Yeah, whatever. You’re such a killjoy, “B-9?.”Why would I want to create relevant content? Why would I want to be respectful of people’s time and attention? Why would I want to focus on building genuine relationships? 

B-9? mumbled something about building genuine relationships being “essential for the long-term success of your business.” But I wasn’t listening. I was busy making these…

Irresistible, right!? 

(Who needs permission, authentic engagement, and valuable content when you have a hedgehog in a bubble bath!) 

If you’ve read to this point (thanks) and you believe in the power of authentic engagement and valuable content (smart), you would like the Story Power Profit Pack — 52 Strategies, Tips, and Tactics to Transform Your Content from Ignored to Adored. 

It’s loaded with advice and guidance re: engaging and delighting prospects. (No adorable puppies or bathing hedgehogs required.)