Cautionary Tales
During a new show broadcast after the Super Bowl on Sunday, CBS television wanted us to believe that a talent-show performer died in a tragic sword swallowing accident. The idea was to create high drama. Keep us viewers glued to the tube. I said, “To hell with this,” and I’ll never watch this rotten show…
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In July 1968, a young sound engineer named Geoff Emerick grew annoyed with his employers and quit his job. Geoff’s employers muddled through without him. And fifty years ago this month, they released a double-album… …with a plain white cover… …entitled, simply, “The Beatles.” So, yeah this really happened… A 22-year-old sound engineer is hanging…
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Last month, I told you about conspiracy theorists who tried to “prove” that the moon landings were a hoax. (Here’s that email.) In that email, I noted that many marketers remind me of the conspiracy theorists. They take a couple of facts and paste them together to create a wacky, inaccurate picture. A few weeks ago, my…
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When I was younger (and lonelier), I wrote a song called “Unrequited Love.” I wrote it a few weeks after a blind date. I thought the date went well. I called her — several times. Left messages suggesting a second date. No reply. No more dates. Sad story. I’m thinking of writing a similar song…
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In 1911, Bobby Leach went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. On purpose. He broke a few bones and spent a few months in the hospital. But that was OK with him. He survived… …and then he cashed in on his fame. He wasn’t the first person to survive that fall. A woman named Annie…
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I got a call last month from my son, Jacob, who declared, “I’m never flying United Airlines again!” Here’s why he was so upset… Jacob was at the Denver airport, at one of those self-serve check-in kiosks. It was crowded and hectic. There was a long line to get through security. He was frazzled. He…
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WARNING: You may never microwave a convenience store burrito again after reading this kinda-gross, but kinda-funny(?) story!!! A job-seeker in Aurora, CO prepped for an interview and drug test by taking a cup of urine to a 7-11 near her prospective employer’s office. She popped the urine in the oven, set it to “High,” pressed start…
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This is a tale about how to annoy email subscribers and encourage them to opt-out. I signed up for Nordstrom Rack’s email list last year after I bought a couple of shirts from them. Men’s shirts (I’m a man). Since then, I’ve received almost-daily emails from Nordstrom’s. Eighty percent of the emails peddle women’s products.…
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The meeting went off the rails when I asked, “How are you going to build your email list?” The nonprofit executive director replied, “We’re going to borrow lists from some other nonprofits we partner with.” “I recommend against that,” I said. “But we do that all the time with direct (postal) mail,” she said. I…
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Back in high school, I had a crush on Amanda, but she had a boyfriend named Cam. A few days before her 16th birthday, she was flirting with me, bad-mouthing Cam, hinting that he was toast. So I made my move. During the birthday party at her house, I snuck up to her room with…
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