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How to Build a Bigger Email List (Santa-Style) 🎅🏻

By Tom Ruwitch

You know that poem that begins “‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house…?” Funny thing about that poem… Before it appeared in The Troy Sentinel newspaper on this day (Dec. 23) in 1823, no one talked about a flying sleigh, or magical reindeer, or Santa dropping down the chimney. All that stuff first appeared…

This Legendary Show was Supposed to Flop

By Tom Ruwitch

If you tuned into the Fox television network on this day (Dec. 17) in 1989 at 8:30 p.m. ET, here’s what you saw… Marge Simpson has to use the family’s gift money to get Bart’s tattoo removed.⁠To make up the difference, Homer takes a job as a department store Santa.But things get worse when Homer…

My Crowning Claim to Shame? You be The Judge…

By Tom Ruwitch

Ripped from the headlines in Nevada: In girls high school basketball action last week, The Del Sol High School Dragons squeaked by the Cheyenne High School Desert Pigs (yes, the “Desert Pigs”). The final score 104-1. Reminds me of the time I coached the 8th-grade boys basketball team at the secondary school where I taught…

The Time Ultra-conservatives and Hippies United

By Tom Ruwitch

Come and listen to my story ’bout a man named Jeff… …a poor marketer who found riches by uniting hardcore, ultra-conservatives and tree-hugging hippies. I know that seems impossible these days, but it happened not that long ago. Our story starts just after the turn of the millennium, in 2002, when the Internet was still…

Prospects Go Nuts for This Contractor. Here’s Why…

By Tom Ruwitch

Yesterday, Melissa and I got a package in the mail from a guy who’s bidding to remodel our master bathroom. Here’s what was in the package: It’s a bag of cashews (the BIG, fancy kind) with a handwritten note: “Tom and Melissa, I hope you go absolutely nuts over your new bathroom design. Have a…

Bad-Day Dolphe’s Incredible Comeback

By Tom Ruwitch

Next time you’re having a bad day and feeling frustrated or stuck, think of Adolphe Sax and take heart. Bad-Day Dolphe had more than his share of rough ones. One day he fell from a third-storey window and hit his head on a stone. Another day, he accidentally drank a bowl of acidic water. The…

How to Make ’em Say, “Wow”

By Tom Ruwitch

Here’s what happened when I walked into Lilo restaurant in Carlsbad, CA last week with my high school pals Mike and Alison… The floor manager welcomed Alison who had made the reservation. Then she looked directly at Mike and me and asked, “Which one of you is Mike?” Mike smiled and said, “That’s me.” Then…

What Were They Thinking When They Bought This?

By Tom Ruwitch

I can’t stop thinking about Paul Hartunian — the guy who bought scrap wood from the Brooklyn Bridge during its 1983 renovation and sold it in one-inch square slices (with a certificate of authenticity) for $14.95, plus shipping and handling. I close my eyes and imagine a person who bought a piece of the bridge…

[Breaking News] Mark Zuckerberg sues Mark Zuckerberg

By Tom Ruwitch

Ripped from the headlines… A bankruptcy attorney in Indianapolis is suing Meta because they keep shutting down his Facebook account. The attorney’s name “Mark S. Zuckerburg.” His offense, according to Meta: Impersonating a celebrity and using a false name. The celebrity in question: Mark E. Zuckerberg, Meta’s CEO. What a cluster-Zuck! 😂 “It’s not funny,” said…

Batman Rules: Leave Them Hanging

By Tom Ruwitch

Way up yonder, in the big Bat Cave in the sky, Adam West is celebrating his 97th birthday today (September 19). (Here’s to the greatest Caped Crusader of them all!) Fun fact about the 1960s ‘Batman’ series: Its creators intended it to be an hour-long show. But ABC didn’t have any hour-long slots available… …so…