Cautionary Tales

This is NOT a joke: Federal government killjoys have declared: Jokes are hazardous to our health. But in my home state, Missouri, bureaucrats are taking a stand against federal tyranny. Here’s the story… In December, the Federal Highway Administration released the 11th edition of the “Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices for Streets and Highways”…

When I read Professor Lucifer Gorgonzola Butts was born on this day 95 years ago… …I knew I’d have to write an email about him. Maybe I could joke that Lucifer Gorgonzola Butts is the guy who was kicked off an American Airlines flight this month for excessive, gorgonzola-esque farting. (That story was all over my news feed this…

Holy cliffhanger, Batman! It was on this day in 1966 that the Caped Crusader and his sidekick, Robin, debuted on ABC television with an episode — called “Hi Diddle Riddle.” The episode ended like this: This was all the Riddler’s fault. His henchman slipped a mickey in Batman’s orange juice at the “What a Way…

Here’s a story for your don’t-try-this-at-home file… Last year, a guy in Belgium faked his death and then showed up at his funeral to teach his family a lesson. As mourners gathered and waited for the outdoor ceremony to begin, a helicopter landed nearby. I’m-Not-Really-Dead Guy hopped from the copter with a camera crew behind…

A cautionary tale about trust-busting marketing tricks… Yesterday, I heard about a company offering a $400 discount on its lifetime software license — $97, instead of $497. Tempting. So I visited the site and saw this… “Deal Ends Today….!?” That set my hair on fire.  “I better act fast,” I thought. So I checked out some…

It’s the first week of the new year, and it’s J.R.R. Tolkien’s birthday (Jan. 3). Seems like a good time for this resolution: Embrace conflict without contempt. Tolkien and his literary pals — including C.S. Lewis — inspire my resolve. Tolkien (The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings) and Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia) were colleagues…

When I was a kid, you couldn’t move through a big-city airport without being pestered by people pitching their religion and begging for money. The “Hare Krishnas” were the most notorious. With their shaved heads and orange robes, the Krishnas would approach travelers and offer a small gift. The Krishnas hoped travelers would return the…

A few years ago, I ran across an article about a dude in Michigan who smelled gas coming from his newly installed water heater. He checked for the leak by lighting a match. He shoulda died, but he got off easy… …with singed eyebrows. Mixing fire and a gas leak — that wasn’t his first…

Thanksgiving Eve. To prepare for tomorrow’s holiday, I’m scanning the inter-webs for crazy, stupid Thanksgiving stories so… …if any crazy, stupid stuff happens at MY holiday party, I can think, “At least we’re not the family where…”  Mom and auntie ate way decided Thanksgiving would be a great time to try edibles. They each gobbled…

I woke just after sunrise this morning and took a long hike along the beach in Marco Island, FL. Nice way to kick off National Take a Hike Day (Nov. 17). After I finish this email and press send, I’ll join my biz buddies/peers for Day 2 of our quarterly mastermind meeting. Day 1, yesterday,…