Tom Ruwitch
When I was a dumb kid, I feared my IQ would drop if I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I was over that by the time I was 19 and dating Kathy. She had her wisdom teeth pulled the summer we dated. She couldnât stand the pain. I suggested she rinse with warm salt water.…
The meeting went off the rails when I asked, âHow are you going to build your email list?â The nonprofit executive director replied, âWeâre going to borrow lists from some other nonprofits we partner with.â âI recommend against that,â I said. âBut we do that all the time with direct (postal) mail,â she said. I…
The last time I ate a Red Delicious apple, I thought, âHmmm. âRed Delicious?â Thatâs half-true. Red? Yes. Delicious? Not so muchâ?â Bad texture. Bland taste. All beauty. No substance. How can something so pretty and shiny be so terrible? I discovered the nasty secret in this great article in The Atlantic. Reds used to be delicious.…
On April Foolâs Day 1998, Burger King ran a full-page advertisement in USA Today to introduce the new âLeft-Handed Whopperâ The ad proclaimed: âFinally, after years of neglect, left-handed eaters will no longer need to conform to traditional right-handed eating methods when enjoying Americaâs favorite burger.â Highlights: âWhopper rotated a full 180-degrees to ensure better grip on bunâŚâ âRearranged orientation of…
Back in high school, I had a crush on Amanda, but she had a boyfriend named Cam. A few days before her 16th birthday, she was flirting with me, bad-mouthing Cam, hinting that he was toast. So I made my move. During the birthday party at her house, I snuck up to her room with…
The following story discusses one company’s marketing failure related to the pedestrian bridge collapse in Florida. I hesitated before sharing this story. I didn’t want to make light of the tragedy or dishonor the six people who died in Florida. I’ve chosen to proceed with the email because I think it contains a valuable marketing…
I ran across an article the other day about a dumb dude in Michigan who smelled gas coming from his newly installed water heater. He checked for the leak by lighting a match. He shoulda died, but he got off easy⌠…with singed eyebrows. Mixing fire and gas leak — that wasn’t his first mistake. …
Did you hear the one about the ketchup bottle and the hardcore pornography site? Whoh! Settle down now. Itâs not what you think. This is a G-rated story that is super-pertinent for anyone marketing a business. Turns out that the good folks at Heinz sold ketchup bottles in Germany that promoted a contest website. But…
This is the story of how a bottle of foot powder was elected Mayor of a town in Ecuador. Iâm not kidding. During the 1967 mayoral election in PicoazĂ (population 4,000), a foot powder company launched an ad campaign with this slogan: âVote for any candidate, but if you want well-being and hygiene, vote for…
I recently spent a couple of weeks in New Zealand. Beautiful country. One of the most memorable things I saw there: Signs illustrating the right way to pooh. This is not B.S. These signs were as common as fart jokes in a boys locker room. On the right⌠a drawing of a person sitting on…