Tom Ruwitch
WARNING: You may never microwave a convenience store burrito again after reading this kinda-gross, but kinda-funny(?) story!!! A job-seeker in Aurora, CO prepped for an interview and drug test by taking a cup of urine to a 7-11 near her prospective employerâs office. She popped the urine in the oven, set it to “High,” pressed start…
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This is a tale about how to annoy email subscribers and encourage them to opt-out. I signed up for Nordstrom Rackâs email list last year after I bought a couple of shirts from them. Menâs shirts (Iâm a man). Since then, Iâve received almost-daily emails from Nordstromâs. Eighty percent of the emails peddle womenâs products.…
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I watched a rerun of Curb Your Enthusiasm yesterday in which Larry David gets into it with a guy who asks him to lunch. Larry and this guy are both from LA, but they run into each other in New York. The guy suggests that he and Larry grab lunch the next day. Larry refuses. âSo let…
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When I was a dumb kid, I feared my IQ would drop if I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I was over that by the time I was 19 and dating Kathy. She had her wisdom teeth pulled the summer we dated. She couldnât stand the pain. I suggested she rinse with warm salt water.…
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The meeting went off the rails when I asked, âHow are you going to build your email list?â The nonprofit executive director replied, âWeâre going to borrow lists from some other nonprofits we partner with.â âI recommend against that,â I said. âBut we do that all the time with direct (postal) mail,â she said. I…
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The last time I ate a Red Delicious apple, I thought, âHmmm. âRed Delicious?â Thatâs half-true. Red? Yes. Delicious? Not so muchâ?â Bad texture. Bland taste. All beauty. No substance. How can something so pretty and shiny be so terrible? I discovered the nasty secret in this great article in The Atlantic. Reds used to be delicious.…
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On April Foolâs Day 1998, Burger King ran a full-page advertisement in USA Today to introduce the new âLeft-Handed Whopperâ The ad proclaimed: âFinally, after years of neglect, left-handed eaters will no longer need to conform to traditional right-handed eating methods when enjoying Americaâs favorite burger.â Highlights: âWhopper rotated a full 180-degrees to ensure better grip on bunâŚâ âRearranged orientation of…
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Back in high school, I had a crush on Amanda, but she had a boyfriend named Cam. A few days before her 16th birthday, she was flirting with me, bad-mouthing Cam, hinting that he was toast. So I made my move. During the birthday party at her house, I snuck up to her room with…
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The following story discusses one company’s marketing failure related to the pedestrian bridge collapse in Florida. I hesitated before sharing this story. I didn’t want to make light of the tragedy or dishonor the six people who died in Florida. I’ve chosen to proceed with the email because I think it contains a valuable marketing…
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I ran across an article the other day about a dumb dude in Michigan who smelled gas coming from his newly installed water heater. He checked for the leak by lighting a match. He shoulda died, but he got off easy⌠…with singed eyebrows. Mixing fire and gas leak — that wasn’t his first mistake. …
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